Stuck in Reverse ♥

Shelter

2009-08-19T18:08:00.008+08:00

I have found myself a safe place - a place for a more quiet and subtle existence, a place for me to rest my tired bones. I will not say where it is; you've gotta find out for yourself. But I reckon I'll be back. After all, we all lead double lives.

2009-08-15T01:34:00.007+08:00

Year 1s make me feel tired.

I know I should probably muster up some enthusiasm for the new semester, but scouring EBSCOhost for lit reviews and thinking about FYP everyday make me feel old and wrinkly and exhausted. Hell, just hearing FYP makes me feel old and wrinkly and tired.

I so desperately want to be happy.

Sometimes I miss hall life. It seems to me that when you stay in hall, school becomes a lot more fun, and a little less jaded.

2009-08-08T14:27:00.008+08:00

At Kailing's and B2's recommendation, I went to try out a Cleo quiz here, and there was this question:

You've come down with a cold from hell and your boy...
(a) Tells you to call him when you’re done coughing up a lung.
(b) Takes you to the doctor, cooks you chicken soup, and nurses you back to health.
(c) Drops off some supplies then hightails it outta there.

Which brings me back to a time nearly 3 years ago when we were still studying for the As and Wei secretly ran over from Siglap, Chloropheniramine and Panadol Remedy in hand.

Ah, happy, happy memories.(:

2009-08-06T22:39:00.001+08:00

All my playlists in my ipod are gone, wtf.

2009-07-19T23:10:00.002+08:00

I think its bittersweet, how as we get older, we get sadder.

Absence, and the lack thereof

2009-07-15T15:45:00.007+08:00

There is nothing like a few day's absence to remind yourself how important that person really is to you.

Well, at least there's still your songs to comfort me.

"The Way I Do"

Your kiss, your smile, your mind
You're sunlight in my eyes
I miss your breath on my neck
When we whisper in the night

Didn't wanna want you
Didn't wanna need you so bad
Didn't wanna wake up
And find that I was falling so fast
Didn't wanna need you
Didn't wanna need anyone
Now look what you've done

Now I can't go on without you
I'm naked, I cant fake it.
I'm not that strong without you
Never thought I could love you the way I do.

Your touch, your skin, can't believe the way you let me in
Don't rush tonight, I need you like the ocean needs the tide.

Didn't wanna want you
Didn't wanna need you so bad
Didn't wanna wake up
And find that I was falling so fast
Didn't wanna need you
Didn't wanna need anyone
Now look what you've done

Now I can't go on without you
I'm naked, I cant fake it.
I'm not that strong without you
Never thought I could love you the way I do.

I always thought I would stand on my own
Climb a mountain top all alone
Relying, depending on no one
Now look at what you've done

Now I can't go on without you
I'm naked, I cant fake it.
I'm not that strong without you
Never thought I could love you the way I do.

Never thought I could love you
Never thought I could need you
Never thought I could want you
The way I do

Never thought I could love you
Never thought I could need you
Never thought I could want you
The way I do

I love you
I need you
I want you
..the way I do
[x2]

♥

2009-07-13T17:49:00.004+08:00

I know it's weird, but everytime I burp, I think of Wei.

2009-07-12T16:02:00.004+08:00

Listening to lazy sunday afternoon blues and the good weather makes me miss Wei.

And that gruffy ol' bear's 4 days away.):

Stars wars v.3

2009-07-01T14:29:00.005+08:00

Okay I officially feel too old to do this STARS planner shit. The excitement is too much for me to handle, as with the screaming and screeching at the laptop and cursing on msn when I didn't manage to get my courses, and the screaming and screeching at the laptop and jumping about in my room whooping at the top of my lungs when I manage to get my courses.

Too damn old, yo. Just too darn old.

2009-06-25T10:57:00.006+08:00

Susan Boyle sings IDAD so terribly, its blasphemous. Its Les Mis, for god's sake.

The loss of innocence, hope and belief in everything good in this world is not something you can just freaking BULLDOZE over, you imbecile. Urgh. I get so upset just thinking about it :(

-

Okay I just got my allowance from DB. I dont know if I should be upset or feeling happy now. Its an odd feeling, hurhurhur.

2009-06-23T22:38:00.002+08:00

I finally went running today! :) Feels real good, but oh, I'm so gonna be feeling it tomorrow. And the day after (says Wei).

I really really hope I'm able to lose whatever ___ I've accumulated on my calves. I seriously have no idea when did they began looking like what they are today. Bah.

2009-06-18T15:21:00.003+08:00

I miss flying all of a sudden. Miss the kick, the rush, the adrenaline. Miss it miss it miss it so bad.

Must be all the monotony and boredom at work.

2009-06-16T14:04:00.000+08:00

I think nostalgia only happens when you can't and didn't put a proper stop to things.

Reminders to self

2009-06-12T09:36:00.005+08:00

I feel like a sliver of the person I once was. I feel weak (like I can't stand straight or walk straight) and I'm constantly scared. 2 years did a mighty lot to make me forget how it feels like, I suppose, and I guess I got cocky.

Reminder 1 to self: This isn't the same as doing your brows.

Reminder 2 to self: Don't down a regular or large Hokey Pokey milkshake by yourself when you know its better that you don't.

On a sidenote, I hate it when my stomach rebels, especially when there's nothing at all for it to heave. Gek.

p/s: I seem to only blog on Fridays, or when the weekend is near, huh. TGIF! :)

2009-06-05T10:46:00.000+08:00

I am so damn bored.

On a sidenote, Timbre last night was good.(:

2009-05-29T14:24:00.000+08:00

I miss Wei.

080509

2009-05-08T12:59:00.008+08:00

It suddenly seems that Life can be ended so easily, just the snuffing out a twinkling light. OF COURSE I knew that life is fleeting, that it comes and goes as it pleases, that we have to treasure life and live it to the fullest everyday yadayada but this is just one of the things that you think you know but you actually don't until it really happens, y'know what I mean?

And it scares me how a person could go so quietly. A call in the morning morning, the venue of the funeral, a msg. That's all.

The passing of a friend.

I wonder if Wei and I would be able to go to Topshop and say, "This jacket with the hoodie is so Faruk" or "This print is exactly what Faruk would wear" with a light heart again.

I don't know if you knew, but you formed a really big part of my Tk memories. We were a family, the few of us who were always sitting in the front row 'cos we were all short back then. We made you marry Imad and you became my bapak. We were always singing, always laughing, always noisy, always getting scolded. Always fun.

Wellwellwell, you're certainly no longer the short fart now, but the hair on your arms are still as long as Chelle's and as white as before.

How do you even begin to put together those little fragments of memories? I wanna say, thank you for giving me 2 years of your sunny presence in Tk, and, thank you for being there for Wei through those tough times in APD, and, thank you thank you for being such a good friend, to Wei and to me.

May God be with you, Faruk. Be in peace, my dear friend.

2009-05-07T12:56:00.003+08:00

My holidays are ending in 4 days. I need to shop for internship clothes and miscellaneous stuff, cut my hair and go tanning.

I can't believe I'm complaining like this. I'm grumpy. Grumpygrumpygrumpy.

2009-05-06T23:46:00.003+08:00

Phantom faces at the window
phantom shadows on the floor

Goodbye, year 2 sem 2

2009-04-29T02:03:00.004+08:00

Today I experienced the joy of stepping into the train wearing heels and carrying a clutch. Book-free, laptop-free and not critically eyeing for a seat.

It was wonderful and absolutely refreshing, like waking up after a long, deep sleep.(:

2009-04-17T11:50:00.006+08:00

I'm suddenly missing Wei terriblyterriblyterrribly, and I so badly want to go Seah Street Deli for my mac and cheese! Wei promised to bring me there long before the Sunday Times article came out, and omg, it looks so darn freaking good.

But exams are still exams. Accounting, accounting, accounting. Sigh.

On a happier note, happy 29th, sweetheart! I love you much, lobster paws, Jamaican accent, potbelly and all.(:

2009-04-06T01:54:00.007+08:00

Two weeks to exams and I have two presentations and a report to go. How awesome. I really wonder when in the two weeks will revision come in.

I hate it that I've been so difficult lately the whole of this bloody semester. I've been trying my freaking best to keep myself from shattering into a thousand million tiny bloody Cynthia pieces, I really have. Nonetheless I've been leaning so damn freaking heavily on Wei and Rae and Lau and everyone else I'm surprised no one has just stopped in their tracks one day and turn around and bitch-slap me.

Well, maybe not yet. Hurhur.

You know, every time when the exams come by, I just feel like breaking up with the world.

Signs of too much accounting project

2009-03-17T23:02:00.007+08:00

This is highly entertaining.

Tuesday, 17 March, 12am
Was trying to decode accounting, but got really, really tired. Decided to go to bed early (for once), with every intention of waking up early tmr morning to continue where I left off.

12.15am
Sat on the bed with every intention to call Wei but apparently I dozed off.

2.30am
Wei: Hello?
Cyn: (groggily) Uhhh hi

Wei: Did you see Rachel's msg? She's so sweet (sth to that extent)
Cyn: mumble mumble sth sth mumble (tries very hard to wake up)

Wei: Huh?
Cyn: What are Rachel's strengths?

Wei: Huh what
Cyn: mumbles

Wei: Huh?
Cyn: What are Rachel's strengths and weaknesses?

Wei: Huh what? Baby you're blabbering!
Cyn: Omg I'm blabbering.

Wei: Yah you're blabbering!
Cyn: Okay I'm blabbering.

Wei: Blah blah sth (memory's fuzzy/ falling back asleep)
Cyn: k g'night bye.

Hahaha. I guess this is what happens when you ponder too much over accounting and get so troubled over the horrid balanced score card that you spend every waking moment fretting over it.

But at least I tried my very best to wake up k, cos I realised for 10 seconds that I was babblering. Haha!

2009-03-16T12:42:00.003+08:00

Ultimatums. Fate and circumstance. What does that even mean

What does that even mean

Yah I heard you. I'll be brave.

2009-03-02T13:13:00.002+08:00

I miss hearing Wei's voice, especially with the recess week ended and Friday looming up, one day at a time.

Recess week was horrid. I've been spread too thin, wrung dry and breaking down on an almost daily basis. I have yet touched my books, and I've yet to complete my individual assignment. I tell myself to go with the flow, but somehow it isn't working.

-

Thank you for sticking by me and being there for me, love, even though I've been acting real strange and P lately (the whole of this sem so far, morelike). I shudder to think what state I'll be in right now if I do not have you and Rae to lean on.

Okay this is getting all too emo, and so I shall stop here. God knows I'm getting too emotional for my own good lately.

-

OMG Rae just msged me to tell me there has been a stabbing at school!!!!!

2009-02-09T00:09:00.001+08:00

I so badly want to stop and rest, but there's no place for me to rest my bones.

Standing alone is so tiring. So so tiring.

All the things unsaid

2009-02-08T23:10:00.010+08:00

Stabstabstab me straight in the heart.

Just when something inside me died and I rebuilt my walls thinking that it would keep the world out, loneliness had to come and make a mockery out of me.

I feel like a sponge that's left in the desert for days, and now suddenly there's rain, floods and thunderstorms.

This is like setting a whole new record, this new low. Somebody please please give me a reason to take that leap of faith again. I want terribly to believe and to trust, but I'm so afraid to. And you know what's the funny thing about it? Its no one's fault.

Words are only words.

2009-02-08T16:06:00.006+08:00

Trying to stand strong alone is shockingly hard.

Trying to get someone to depend on is shockingly harder.

Sometimes it gets too scary to think about what is at the end of the road. That is when I throw myself blindly into the dark unknown with my eyes wide open, fingers reaching out and Confidence tattooed over my heart, fumbling along and feeling my way, seeing nothing, touching nothing and feeling nothing.

Sticks and stones wouldn't break my bones

2009-02-08T12:54:00.003+08:00

but you, you will. Oh yes you will.

2009-01-21T21:34:00.004+08:00

Its the third week of school, and already I'm being snowed under. I really don't know how I'm going to make it through this semester and score all As and Bs and pull up my GPA by at least a 0.3. Omgomg I want to graduate with honors please please please God. Okay I WILL make it through this sem and I WILL score all As and Bs and I WILL pull up my GPA by at least a 0.25 (haha yes I'm a wussy I know), I will I will I will. Okay yay go me.

Sempre e per sempre(:

2009-01-12T21:33:00.014+08:00

I'm now waiting for B2's call to discuss our attendance at tmr's cheerleading preview, so I thought I'll post some long over-due photos.

2nd Anniversary Dinner
Wei and I had our 2nd anniversary dinner after my exams, on the 26th of November. We went to Otto Ristorante, a cozy little place situated in Red Dot Traffic Building. The service was good, the staff really there friendly.(: Oh and the food - AWESOME.

First up - slow cook egg and taleggio fondue. (There was actually another appetizer before this, but sadly no pictures. Heh.) Okay the fondue. Oh gosh the fondue. It was rich and creamy and absolute yum. Ah, my kind of food.(:

Oh and you see the brown flakes on top of the egg? Those are truffles. Delish, but freakingly expensive. We only had a total of about 5grams? of truffle shavings throughout the meal.

Next was supposed to be our pasta and risotto, but the chef is such an adorable sweetheart (he's rather short and round, haha), and he gave us complementary freshwater oysters and scallops that simply Melt. In. Your. Mouth. I'm soo not kidding. They're really the BEST scallops I've ever eaten. Oh YUMSTERS. Unfortunately, we only took photos of the oyster. Here you go.

Then came the pasta and risotto. The pasta was really flat and thin, it was like asian fusion. They both had creamy sauce too. Wei commented that the night's dishes seemingly revolve around cream, but that's because he knows of my love for rich food.(:

After that was real good cod fish with, as usual, creamy, awesome, fantabulous sauce. Seriously to die for.

Before dessert, Paulo the maître d' showed us the truffles up close and personal. Apparently truffles have genders. The ones that are closed up like a knob are females, and the ones that are open are males.

And that was close to about a thousand (over a thousand?) dollars sitting on our table. Ha.

Dessert, and theme of the evening.

And of course, creme brulee.(:

Vanilla beans at the bottom! Happy sight, happy sight. Haha! *beams*

Champagne and dessert wine.

Interior of Otto. Nice ambiance.

And that concludes our dinner.(:

L'amore magico sempre e per sempre, my love. Aye, forever and ever <3

Its 2009!

2009-01-01T23:29:00.006+08:00

The last day of 2008 saw me in my very first car accident. It wasn't that serious, really, but it was enough to leave me traumatized and shaking. I'm trying to tell myself it all happened in 2008 and it isn't an omen or whatever, but its quite hard to put at the back of my mind.

Anyway, its the start of another year, and I only hope for better things to come.

New years eve at Wei's was not too bad, despite whatever happened. I'm really, really thankful that my two lovely babies were there at the party to hold and comfort me. I LOVE YOU, BABIES!(:

I am also reminded again how big a part Wei is in my life. I doubt I'll ever stop shaking if he wasn't there to dry my tears, to hug and hold and comfort me. I love you, sweetheart, and I'm ever so grateful and thankful for you.

And to the other sweethearts at the party who tried their best to comfort me and withstood my cursing and swearing, thank you thank you thank you. My new years eve was great because of all of you. Thank you.(:

-

Alrighty that's all. I have 3 new year resolutions I intend to keep. 2009 has better be a good one.

I'm back from Kimchi Land, folks!

2008-12-19T17:50:00.010+08:00

So I got back from Korea late Wednesday night. It was quite a hell of a trip, though I was a lil miffed that it wasn't cold enough to snow. It only rained.): Anyway, I suppose I'll be massively adding photos of the anniversary dinner with Wei, some photos from the trip to Korea, my birthday flowers (Rae's HUGE-ass one that totally trumped Wei's and left him dumbfounded, haha. I love you babies!!:D), and my birthday lunch with Wei tomorrow. We're going to this apparently fantabulous Jap place. Woots!(:

Oh and I would like to thank everyone who wished me happy birthday.(: I'm really sorry I didn't manage to say thank you to everyone on my birthday, cos I left my phone in good ol' Singapore, and I didn't have internet connection in Korea. You have all been really, really sweet and I absolutely love all of you to bits. TO BITS!!(:(:(:

Oh and last night was a blast, oh my dear god. On hindsight, I suppose I might have appeared to be quite an... avid eater, seeing how I was the only female among the 4 other males present. But holy guacamole was it fun. I never had a table assembled with food, and have Andrew take a picture of the table before sitting down and proceeding to clean up the plates within what? 2 hours? Haha. Geez man. Maybe Andrew will upload the before and after shots. We had the uncles and aunties so amazed I was surprised they didn't loose their footing and fall over Wilfred while trying to take a closer look, and land face down in the bowl of beef noodles.

Alrights, time for work. Catch y'all later. Bye!(:

2008-12-04T19:03:00.010+08:00

So, finals ended a week ago. The past week have been great, especially with rainy weather and lazy days in between. Let's see. There was our anniversary dinner at Otto which was SUPERB I tell you. Pure awesomeness:D The ambiance was lovely, and there was excellent service. I shall upload the photos when I get them from Wei, yes? Well, there are actually not many, cos we're really quite bad at remembering to take photos before we dig into the courses, haha. Oh but here's the menu for that night.

YUMSTERS. Oh and I had the BEST scallops ever, with the chef's compliments. It actually melted. Gosh. But that's for another time.(:

Alrights. Apart from that there were trips to the library, vivo with B2, and movies, movies, movies. Oh and I met Lijuan and Michelle, how cool is that? Its really quite exciting seeing Lijuan, I haven't seen her since OLevels! *beams*

Oh and when I get bored lazing around there's always this:

to look at and admire. So pretty right! Haha. I love my pink fishball toes. I really should go for more pedicures in the future. Yay!(:

On a side note, I should keep in mind that reading parts of a book would suffice for bedtime reading. I really should start sleeping earlier.

Just to be on the safe side, I think I am going to start bedtime readings earlier, so that in the event that I do read from start to finish, I wouldn't go to bed at 4am.

To Wei, with ♥

2008-11-17T23:25:00.011+08:00

Thank you for being here with me, sweetheart. These 24 months have been a blast, and it just wouldn't be the same without you, standing steadfastly by my side, holding my hand and holding me close, guiding me and looking out for me every step of the way. I really hope that I've given you as much joy as you have given me, my dear, for this love - it is simply incredible and it anchors me in a way I can never possibly imagine. I know this is all getting a tad old, but yer know, sometimes 3 words just don't cut it - they ain't enough. So well that's me, saying Happy 24th, Sweetheart, and I'm so glad to have you, Bestfriend.(:

P/S: I hope you had a great 80minutes today.(: When we're richer we'll do this more often, yes? Haha. Can't wait for the dinner on the 26th! *beams*(:

Die Hard!

2008-11-12T23:29:00.006+08:00

I just got home from Carl's Junior and bnj's at vivo, and my dad was watching this show on star movies - Die Hard 2: Die Harder. Hahaha!! I apologize to all die hard fans out there (haha), but you've gotta admit, that was pretty funny. Lol. In fact, the funniest thing I've heard since Wei told me stories from... this old movie which name I can't remember right now but its pretty funny. I'll ask him again.

But anyway, haha. It was so precious I just had to jot it down somewhere. Lol.

Tiens!

2008-11-12T13:44:00.004+08:00

Ah, je suis panicking un peu. Il est deux heure moins le quart de après-midi. Le temps officielle est treize heure quarante-cinq. Oh la la, il est treize heure quarante-neuf maintenant. Ah, c'est vite!

J'ai étudié quatre unité de la leçons françaises, et j'ai une unité left. Il est le passé composé.

A trois heure de après-midi (quinze heure), je vais partir pour l'université. Je me prepare already, et j'ai pris mon dejéuner.

Oh yes! Hier, je suis allée chez mon petit ami. He made mushroom cream pasta. Il est super! J'aime beaucoup mon petit ami. (:

D'accord, I will stop here. Je ne éctris pas. Je me souhaiter tout the best. Souhaitez-moi bon examen!

Urgh, je feel malade. Je pense il va continuer jusqu'à la fin de l'examen. Quelque'un save me!

2008-11-04T21:05:00.004+08:00

So I'll be spending a week of my december hols exploring Korea. Seoul, to be exact. I think. Heh! Anyway, it would be my second time spending my birthday overseas and I'm uh, experiencing some conflicting, mixed-up emotions about that. It really feels kinda weird, but then again, as BM212 consumer behaviour teaches us, dissonance always makes people feel weird and.. disturbed.

Kay I shall put the hols and whatever it would bring firmly at the back of my head for now. Lecture notes are beckoning, and I will turn in earlier today, I promise.

Coffee ♥

2008-11-02T13:49:00.008+08:00

It almost felt like one of those pre-uni and pre-ns days yesterday, when there was no work, no deployments, no bitchy bosses, no projects and assignments and tests to lose sleep over. Leisurely days. Cosy days. Lazy, laaaaaazy days spent at one of our favourite hang-out places by the sea. I sure am looking forward to such days again after exams. C:

Haha! The boy's funny like that. He's adorable. <3

I'm determined to be productive today. I will start on my final Communication Management individual presentation and revise data analysis for Research Methods. I will start immediately, since its already almost 2pm now and I have work at 7pm.

Maybe I should really start thinking about sleeping early too. Hm.

To Rae:

2008-10-21T20:45:00.004+08:00

Have I ever told you that I fell hopelessly in love with you from the moment you shared your food with everyone else before you ate? (and thereafter I swore that I would love you forever and ever to the end my life, haha.)

I know it would be too far-fetched and altogether unrealistic of me to tell you don't be too disappointed or heartbroken or cynical or jaded, love, because well, life's like that. But just know that you'll always be our big-hearted Rae no matter what - mine, Kenn's, Wei's, Farand's, Jon's, Cass's, BE's, Ah Fat's, and the so many other people whose lives you touched, 'cos its simply you.

So be brave, Rachel dear.(:

P/S: Our AB213 tutor took ah fat to be a smoker today. You should have seen the look on ah fat's face, haha damn funny.

Random post of the day.

2008-10-20T12:48:00.007+08:00

Wei's valentine's day gift last year! Yay finally, haha. I wanted to take a picture of it before I gave it to him, but I finished the pillow just minutes before I was supposed to meet him and I was rushing. And after that I keep forgetting to snap a picture of it, until he decided that the pillow would cheer me up on some of my particularly bad days (which, by the way, are increasing at an alarming rate) and left it with gueh jing (chicken essence) and an adorable dog soft toy and a sweet note by my bedside one morning, so that that was the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes - the paper bag was really huge. So basically the pillow's in my care now and I get to take as many pictures of it as I want!(:

Okay here goes. Presenting: the present that I'm most proud of.

Close-up

I almost died sewing on the 30 squares, but I think its all worth it. I blanket-stitched (don't know what you call that stitch but I call it blanket stitch, heh) each square individually, and I think they look so adorable, like a baby's blankie.(:

Okay I'm also proud of the bear I made for Wei, but that was with JunFeng's help.

The many things that are sitting on my bed so far.

I've been procrastinating clearing them out for years now. Some of them are really old, but then each and every single one has its own story and means something to me.

Ah well. Maybe I'll start clearing stuff after exams.

♥

2008-10-18T13:29:00.021+08:00

Yesterday afternoon, on all accounts, was a bad afternoon. I possibly gave the worse presentation ever in my entire life, and I had a hard time trying to differentiate my french tenses. On top of that, my feet were aching, because they were stuck in a pair of killer heels the whole day. I swear I'm never ever going to wear those pair of heels again, unless (a) I brought along a change of shoes, or (b) if I'm driving.

Yesterday evening, however, was a totally different story.

First up, dinner at Sourpuss. Yay I like. (:

Wei's camera shy. Haha! He's adorable :D

The amazing Masala Fish and Chips.

Yumsters. And oh. It just got better.

See!

Guess where? Max Brenner's! This is Wei's yummy chocolate + shot of expresso + Irish Cream. Amazing I tell you. You can actually feel the rush vrooom down your throat. Mmmmmm. Oh and we met Jean there too! (:

Souffle! Love the little chocolate balls.

And this.

Thick, warm dark chocolate.

Ah, 'tis happiness in a cup. (: Yay for HugMugs! (:

I know the resolution of the photos is horrid, but I tried my best! I think I should start bringing along my digicam, instead of using my camera phone though. Hee!

Anyway, this basically sums up my whole Friday.

Happy 23rd, my babylove! I'm ever so glad to have you. (:

♥

The Age of Food has Come.

2008-10-07T21:01:00.018+08:00

Oh yes, indeed it has. Colosso is here.

Colosso [co-lo-so]
- Noun

1. The Reinvention of Parties.

2. The brainchild of three lovely, passionate young men with a whole load of creativity and fun, and a genuine love for good food.

3.Specialty hotdogs personally prepared, with premium sausages topped with the most amazing condiments, fresh and home-made. Classy canapés and Hors d'Oeuvres.

4. An in-house hot-dog bar.

5. A thoroughly unique experience, tailored to suit your senses.

Once again, ladies and gentlemen, Colosso.

*

Farand, I love the site!(:

"And I've got kisses too."

2008-10-02T23:22:00.011+08:00

Thank you, sweetheart, my baby love, my sweetest kiss. My sunshine and starlight, my silver moon and rainbow skies. Thank you.

As the world keeps spinning round, you hold me right here right now ♥

Friends, like Sunshine ♥

2008-10-01T21:58:00.013+08:00

You know there are some friends whom you don't see very often (say once every 2 years), but when you do see them, they just simply light you up so bright inside and make you feel all happy and warm and fuzzy all over?

I'm glad I have friends like that. (:

P/S: Js I must catch up with you! I didn't even knew you were attached!! *smacks self in the head*

P/P/S: I'm feeling so happy right now I'm going to tell a secret I've been harboring inside me all this while. I have this mental list of the people I want as my future bridesmaids, and all of you are in the list. You know who you all are. (: (:

She pulled the blinds and listened to the thunder.

2008-09-29T01:37:00.007+08:00

Unbeknownst to myself, I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. And boy, did it drop.

I could kill myself.

The Ultimate Loser

2008-09-27T21:45:00.005+08:00

I'm MOTHERRRRRRRRR pissed.

Today, I am in a very destructive mood.

Happy Birthday, Rae dearest!(:

2008-09-24T13:07:00.005+08:00

I remembered you told me its 13 hours behind time in the US, so I guess it should be about 8 minutes after 12am there now. I just wanted to say Happy Birthday, Rae baby! And that I miss you shitloads and shitloads and shitloads and shitloads and shitloads. I know it has been 2 months since you've left for Illinois and I should be used to it by now, but I still go around thinking "Okay this is so Rae" or "Rachel will find this funny" or "If only Rae was here".): Oh wells. December will come soon, I guess. We'll celebrate your birthday then, okay?(:

Alrights that's all for now. I hope you're doing fine over there! Once again, Happy 20th, my dearest girl. I Love you!(:

Would you stay, keep this evening warm?

2008-09-17T02:32:00.008+08:00

As soon as I heard your voice, I wanted to reach over the line, over land and ocean and grab you, hold you, touch you. I want to know that it is real, that it is your voice that I hear, that it is you. I know its dumb. It has only been 5 mere days without you. 5 days of not hearing your voice, of not holding your hand. 5 days of not seeing that adorable, earnest baby face that tugs at my heart everytime, making it go thumpity thump thump. 5 days too long.

It has not been an entirely good day today, and its times like these that I need you, and miss you even more. I want to find comfort in the familiarity that only you can give. I want to cuddle up and feel all snug and cozy again, like a warm hug.

As always, the extent of just how much I'm missing you came to me as a shock.

Happy 22nd, love. Oh Friday please please please be quick.

2008-09-16T20:51:00.002+08:00

2 more days. Come back soon, love. I miss you.):

2008-09-13T20:37:00.003+08:00

Today, B2 and I raided Far East. We spent 6 hours there, and I blew nearly a hundred bucks. Hur. It would be a long long time before I go shopping again. Oh wells. It was fun while it lasted!(:

On a side note, Wei left for Hanoi this morning.): Sigh. This week's gonna be long indeed.

Owned.

2008-09-09T01:04:00.008+08:00

For the past week it has been School: 7, Cynthia: 0.

Hell. I can't wait for recess week.

"Will you hibernate with me?"

2008-08-28T23:57:00.006+08:00

Oh, if only I could spend every waking moment with you.

2008-08-24T15:56:00.005+08:00

I'm feeling exceptionally lazy today.(:

Ohohoh! I've gotten a laptop skin for my laptop! Its looking super uber pretty and I can't wait to show it off. I'll put a picture up as soon as I'm not feeling lazy, haha.

Alrighty. I shall aim to finish more work before ICC later. Yay ice cream!:D

P/S: I still don't know what to do for my BM212 consumer behaviour assignment! Sigh.

P/P/S: I have this sudden urge to bake and make cookies and cupcakes and canapes. Must be the cookbooks.

My rainbow skies.

2008-08-13T01:32:00.004+08:00

I'm missing you real bad. I know its ridiculous; it has only been a day. I think I'm entirely way way wayy too dependent, but telling myself "No more Wei" just threatens to bring on a massive panic attack. Sigh.

Have I told you? I'm so glad it was you.

Shoes!(:

2008-08-08T12:02:00.005+08:00

I've finally bought the pair of office wear aka f-me heels I've been eyeing for quite some time yesterday! And in the process, I acquired for myself yet another pair of heels, courtesy of Wei.(: To top it all up, I thoroughly enjoyed the short-but-great us-time spent together. I swear, a girl can't get any happier than this. *beams* (:(:

On a side note, I am currently shedding like a cobra. So now besides having an uber uber ugly tan line(s), I not only have uglyuglyugly shoulders that makes me appear disease-ridden, but also itchy-like-hell shoulders, prompting constant scratching throughout 2 hour lectures.

2008-08-05T13:54:00.004+08:00

I know I'm a spoilt brat and too princessy for my own good, but I just can't help it.

Okay that's a lie.

Anyway, hall 9 orientation was a blast. I'm so so so so so so so super duper glad my freshies are all so enthusiastic and fun-lovin and bonded. They're definintely NOT weird like someone said they were okay! OKAY! You hear me? I repeat, they're not weird!!!!! They are the best freshies any GL can ask for. But then, if they are weird then so be it. Their GLs are weird too! We the Weird People who won best OG rock! Woohooo Oden! GO ODEN GO!! GO FIGHT WIN! *pumps fist into the air* WOOHOO!!

Okay enough of zi high. On a sadder note, Rae Baby left for US already.):):): No more Rae Baby to accompany me, to talk to me, bitch and gossip with me and make me laugh. No more Rae Baby for me to confide in. You know, I so so badly want to tell you please stay, don't go, but that would be much too selfish of me, so I'll tell you to go with all my blessings and well-wishes, to please please please keep safe and have fun and experience all there is to experience in the US. 5 months will pass by quickly, but in the meantime I'll miss you truckloads and shitloads. I love you girl!(:

Alrights time to do my assignment now. I have to hand it in in school by 5pm today. Its only the 2nd day of school, wth. Oh wells. BYE.

2008-07-21T15:57:00.007+08:00

Its pouring outside, and there's quite a stiff wind blowing. A lovely day to cuddle up in bed, hide under the covers. A perfect day to think.

It has never strike me so deep that anyone I hold so dear can, and will be gone, one day, someday. Poof. Gone. Vanish, just like that. I wonder what I'll do without them. I wonder what I'll be without Wei by my side, constantly nagging and scolding and chastising me, teasing, laughing with and at me, pampering me and spoiling me rotten. Loving me. I could make a guess, I suppose, but it honestly isn't that hard. I'll most certainly be lost without Wei, without the silly goose of a boy for me to love and tickle and tease and cuddle and love and irritate and smell and hug and binge and quarrel and share my every moment with. And love, always Love. Just for the record, I don't think I've ever loved anyone so deeply before, and vice versa.

So here I am at home, half an hour before I'm scheduled for work, with the rain pelting down and my windows wide open, thanking my lucky stars that you are near me, that you are safe and sound, that I'll get to kiss you and hug you when see you tomorrow night for dinner with people we love, that you're not on any deployment or whatnot overseas in jungles far away or at sea. Those whatnots that are in fact dangerous but made not so, because so many boys have gone through them so many times and turned up safe... save a few. I know I sound selfish and terrible and a horrid girl altogether, but the truth is that life isn't fair, and sometimes it simply scares the shit out of me.

Ain't no love like ice cream and daisies

2008-07-20T11:50:00.025+08:00

Happy belated belated belated 20th, sweetheart! Thank you for standing by me all this while, love. You're my rainbow skies, the sunlight through my window, my Shin duck soba. I love you, and God only knows what I'll be without you.(:

On a side note, I received my first pay at Ice Cream Chefs yesterday! *beams*

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists:
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

-Pablo Neruda

Shin Kushiya!(:

2008-07-16T23:15:00.009+08:00

Dinner at SHIN KUSHIYA was absolutely, absolutely fabulous. I know Rae raved about it in her blog already, but I've got to rave about it still! I love the Horenso salad (spinach with bacon and garlic chips tossed with soy dressing), and how the Osen Tamago (lightly-poached egg served chilled in a bonito broth) was so good chilled. The sashimi was so super fresh; apparently the prawns were so good they made Farand's eyes disappear in appreciation, haha! Their yakimono was excellent too, but that's what they specialize in. I love love love the mushrooms. I don't know how they do it, but the mushrooms were still fat and juicy and tender even though they were charcoal- grilled. Just absolutely makes me feel like bouncing around. The mozzarella cheese wrapped in bacon was super super amazing too! Ahhh!!! And oh, ohmygod, behold the Tonsei Inaniwa Udon, aka Duck Soba. The duck broth was ex-ce-llent and -get this- the flat noodles just slides down your throat. And its chilled. Chilled!! Ughh. *spasms and dies*

Anyway I hoped Rae you enjoyed it, cos I certainly did. Haha!(: I'm gonna miss you badly when you go to the US. Oh wells. I'll just have to survive a whole sem without you and then I'll have you back!!:D And we'll go eat at Shin again!!:D:D:D

Okay no more of this. I'm hungry.

2008-07-13T18:30:00.007+08:00

I love love pan-fried dory. I'm really glad my boyfriend knows how to cook!(: MOS was fun, but really quite tiring. Alrights, I should be heading off to Ice Cream Chef's real soon. Ciao!

Can't wait for Tuesday!(:

*

For ice cream lovers (and especially those who stay in the east), please click HERE and take a look. We do parties and events too! Please visit!(:(:

Priorities makes emotional idiots of us all.

2008-07-05T16:08:00.002+08:00

You know, I would put the world on hold for you.

Short + Sweet.(:

2008-06-30T12:42:00.003+08:00

I had the BEST time yesterday.(: It has been such a long time since I've actually dressed up for a date, haha. Dinner at SourPuss was great. They had food and service down to pat, and the ambiance was just simply lovely. If it wasn't for the play, I really wouldn't mind sitting there, relaxing and just enjoying Wei's company.(:

Ah, the play. Awesome stuff, the play. It was simply so delightful, the storylines and the acting, that I think I was smiling throughout the 2 hours. The balloons, the balloons! Haha! What a nice way to end the gala finals. Thanks for the tickets, John! You've got to buy extra tickets next year again, yes?(:

I'm a happy happy girl.(:

I'm getting so happy typing this and remembering yesterday that I feel like giving my sweetheart a big hug now. Haroww Weiwei! *Huggggggs*:D

Cheesecake, cheesecake, cheesecake..

2008-06-27T18:57:00.008+08:00

Good reviews of Cafe Oliv makes me a happy, happy girl.(:

I'm hungry and I have a sudden huge craving for rich, creamy and real good cheesecake. Oh and the really delightful coconut tempura prawns at Flutes at the Fort.):

-.

2008-06-24T02:47:00.010+08:00

I'm half-starved. I love my books. I'll lose myself in them.

I still believe my feelings
But sometimes I feel too much
I make believe you're close to me
But it ain't close enough
Not nearly close enough

Champagne bubbles.

2008-06-20T00:30:00.008+08:00

So I've decided to succumb to the lure of chick lit. Bergdorf Blondes (has been around since years ago; there was much, much eyeballing involved in Borders and various libraries) is indeed très très funny. It is beyond. In fact, c'est absolutely brillant, as well as the most light-hearted read I've had in a long time.(:

Went shopping with David today, and bought a darling of a top. Quite possibly the most darling top I have up-to-date.(:

I'm all tired out from tennis with Wei and brothers, so I'm gonna hit the sack now. Bonne nuit.(:

2008-06-16T12:59:00.003+08:00

Marketing it is, then. Boy oh boy I can't wait for StewHaus tomorrow!(:

2008-06-15T01:52:00.006+08:00

Bittersweet. Bittersweet, bittersweet, bittersweet. Bittersweet is good, all good. Funny, but you somehow always appear at the most unexpected moments, at places unthought of.

-

Despite a rocky start, today ended up wonderful.(: Okay, I'm more than ready to crash now, aha. Good night.

So glad it was you.(:

Obolo crazy!

2008-06-13T12:35:00.006+08:00

OBOLO.

Rae and I skipped dinner yesterday and headed straight to Obolo's. I had my macarons and I'm glad I substituted my Rose for Vanille, cos now I have a new favourite!(:(: The New York Cheesecake Rae and I shared was awesome too! The strawberries look really, really pretty, and the cheesecake was sooo rich. Better than Cheesecake Cafe's, methinks! Oh I also took away a glass of Verrine, cos -guess what?- I get to keep the glass if I take the whole thing home! The glass was so so pretty I couldn't resist. Haha. I have yet to try it, though. Layers of mousse, red berries, compote, vanilla and syrup. Pretty pretty!(:

Some things never change.

2008-06-09T11:37:00.004+08:00

I guess once in a while, people have to be reminded how it is like to be young and cute again. Yer know, all that dreams and scooby doo stuff.

The life of a couch potato.

2008-06-08T22:13:00.006+08:00

I'm still abit dazed right now, having just finished my book. Anyway, no more hall for me next sem. No more cheering either.): I'll really miss both, especially cheer. I really wanted to do my front tuck!): Ah wells. Results were out 3 days ago. Not good, not good. Mummy and daddy went holidaying in Bangkok, and I've been stuck at home these past 3 days settling meals for my brothers and getting them to sleep on time. On the bright side, I get to ask Wei to help me out and bring us all out for dinner.(: Kenny Roger's chicken is good, and so is Bailey's Mint Chocolate Irish Cream. Wii was fun with YiLing, Jasper and Jeremy, and pool, CafeBar, bitching and catching up with Tze Yang was great too. And when I get tired of Hell's Kitchen, Ugly Betty, korean dramas and mini online games, I'll still have my books. Coming to think of it, once you take out all the boring bits, the life of a couch potato is actually pretty great.

Kay now I'm off to chill out with Olivia Ong. Bye!(:

Bintan pictures!

2008-06-02T20:31:00.025+08:00

Hey ho! I know I've been procrastinating, but blogger is so slow! Anyways, pictures! Pictures! Pictures!

Bintan Trip!

In the ferry, heading for our island retreat.

Our first lunch at Angsana Resort and Spa!

After lunch. The weather was really really great. The kind that makes you wanna just stretch out on a deck chair and spend the afternoon lazing away.

Woohoo! Perfect match, babeh! Brown rocks!(: Oh and there was this group of men, Japanese, I think. We saw them when we were having lunch, and then when we headed towards the pool we saw them stretched out on their backs on the deck chairs, already knocked out and looking remarkably like logs laid out side by side. Or perhaps, for a more appropriate er... comparison, like sausages cooking in the sun. Hehheh. But they were amusing lah, really, the cute and chubby group of men. Haha.

Our fabulous eat-in dinner. I know its only canned food, but it was a lovely and heart-warming.(:

After dinner was Spa. One thing I must say, though. It really is quite amazing how much strength the masseuse had packed in her small frame. And all of them were tiny and pint-sized!

The next day.

Breakfast!

Morning walk that turned out to be more like a Nature walk, really. But it was a really amazing experience. The guide brought us out of the resort and into the forest trails beside the resort, to the fisherman's village and then through rocks and back to the resort. We saw little chicks that were not a fluffy yellow, but black and white! Amazing, amazing!

Girl-bonding session over our little lunch! Unfortunately it was raining the whole day, so we didn't manage to go down to the pool. We did go for spa, though. Okay at least Joan and I did, and we had an outdoor spa experience. It really was quite therapeutic, breathing in the relaxing scent of lavender, listening to the waves whilst enjoying a massage. Oh boy I really can't wait to go back again soon.

All dressed up for our dinner reservation at Bayan Tree! It felt like a girl's night out, haha.(:

The amazing view at Bayan Tree. There's their pool, and at the edge of the pool you get a sea view! Its like falling out of the pool into the sea, and it was really lovely.

The meal was great, and I really loved my red snapper. Dessert was fab too! This is us at the restaurant, all happy and contented. Oh and did I mention they had a lovely washroom? Qixin and Joan went quite crazy over it, haha!

The guide told us we would be able to catch sunrise if we wake up early enough, and so we did.

Beautiful beautiful.

The beach in the morning. A post-card worthy shot, if you ask me.

I really love the way they place the towels on the deck chairs.

We were determined to get some sun, and so we hit the pool early in the morning.

Breakfast! They had wonderful, wonderful jams. Qixin and Joan went crazy over their yummy dark cherry jam, and I went crazy over their strawberry jam. The sight of real strawberries in my starwberry jam just makes my day. *beams*

Oh, we went bonkers over their muffins too, haha!

Us at the entrance to the Angsana Spa and Gallery.

Then it was time to pack up and leave the resort.

Waiting at the lobby for the bus to fetch us to the ferry terminal.

On the ferry heading home. Byebye, Bintan. It was a fun trip and I'll definitely be back!(:(:

Whattttt.

2008-06-02T13:42:00.016+08:00

Friend: Hey Wilson come to [insert mutual friend's name]'s birthday party k! I'll even ask my father to drive to your house to fetch you!
Wilson: Huh I don't think I feel like going.
Friend: Eh don't like that la go la go la.
Wilson: Why?
Friend: Because I don't want to let you do assessments at home!

Beginning of last year.
Friend: Hey Wilson since I was the 1st in Primary 4/5 and you are the 1st in Primary 4/6, lets be best friends k!
Wilson: Hm alright!
Friend: Yay okay! Oh and I'm gonna be the 1st in class this year.

Sometime last month.
Friend: Eh Wilson you're no longer the 1st in class! I am!
Wilson: Huh really? How do you know? The results are not out yet!
Friend: Oh I know cos I went to find Mrs Lee (form teacher) in the staff room and ask.

WHAT IN THE WORLD. And these kids are only in Primary 6, omg. Un.be.lievable. I am astounded.

And btw, my brother still ended up being 1st in class for both years. Give up and be contented with your 2nd place, you (little) jerk.

2008-05-27T22:36:00.002+08:00

Its the second time I'm doing this. With a third party's point of view, with neither intention nor agenda, I must say that these things tend to get tiring and draining. I must not be feeling well, 'cos I feel like throwing up. I'll be sleeping early tonight. I'm tired.

Of parties and balloons.

2008-05-26T12:44:00.008+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MR YEO XI-WEI!(:

And I'll be back soon with pictures. In the meantime, je suis bien. Not that anyone asked or anything, hehh. Had a fine time catching up with Lau and Rae and I can't wait to try Ice Cream Chef's new mint chocolate ice cream. Obolo's macarons are kick-ass, YiLing I'll definitely have to bring you there soon! Oh and dance lesson (only one so far) with Wei was a blast. Cha cha cha! Hahaha.(: And I was busy at work doing Wei's scrapbook, but that's for later. Alrights world! That's all for now. Take care and au revoir!

And I'm letting the world go by

2008-05-18T00:45:00.004+08:00

So I returned from Bintan on Thursday. Three days seem abit too short to enjoy the serenity and the beauty of the place, but I had a good time nevertheless. The service was really excellent and so refreshing, I seriously don't mind going there again soon, especially during off-peak periods. The Angsana Resort and Spa is good for the soul.(:

Yesterday. Yesterday at about 11.30am I finally bid goodbye to virgin hair. Actually I'm slightly regretting it now, 'cos I really love my natural hair colour. Black to some might be mundane and boring, but ah, there are shades of black too. Oh wells. I'll have it back when the colour fades, I hope.

I have tons and tons of pictures from Bintan. It was quite delightful taking pictures, because the lighting was real good.(: I'll post them up soon.

Alrights that's all, folks. Oh, and happy 18th, grouchy! I love you lots and lots.(:

No one is infallible.

2008-05-11T01:06:00.002+08:00

So we finally meet, and I did everything wrong. I meant to be true and sincere, but it ended up being more of a testy and wary, albeit awkward, gauging of grounds. It felt like I didn't smile at all. So much for being myself. I just wished that I could... present, give myself to you and see if perhaps, you would have me. Oh silly, silly, silly. But no, like Rae said, I would certainly not bash myself up over this. After all, what was, was.

Maybe its me maybe its my overactive imagination or maybe its pms, but it feels like I'm the only one in this. It feels like I'm the only over enthusiastic idiot all geared up and excited, while the rest are stifling yawns, twiddling thumbs and grouchy with reluctance. That's just fine, fine. I do hope I'm overreacting. Let's just see what happens come next week, shall we?

Beautiful night. Beautiful night. Remember, tonight's a beautiful night. Beautiful night.

2008-05-09T15:30:00.002+08:00

Honey - Bobby Goldsboro

See the tree? how big it's grown,
But friend, it hasn't been too long
It wasn't big...
I laughed at her, she got mad
The first day that she planted it
Was just a twig...
Then the first snow came,
And she ran out to brush the snow away
So it wouldn't die...
Came runnin' in all excited
Slipped and almost hurt herself
And i laughed 'til i cried...
She was always young at heart
Kinda dumb, and kinda smart
And i loved her so...
And i surprised her with a puppy,
Kept me up all Christmas eve,
2 years ago...
And it would sure embarrass her when i came in from workin' late,
Cause i would know...
That she'd been sittin there an' cryin',
Over some sad and silly late, late show...

And Honey, i miss you...
And i'm bein' good...
And i'd love to be with you...
If only i could...

She wrecked the car, and she was sad
And so afraid that i'd be mad,
But, what the heck?...
Though i pretended hard to be,
Guess you could say she saw through me,
And hugged my neck...
I came home unexpectedly,
And caught her cryin' needlessly, in the middle of the day...
And it was in the early spring, when flowers bloom, and robins sing,
She went away...

And Honey, i miss you...
And i'm bein' good...
And i'd love to be with you...
If only i could...

One day while i was not at home,
While she was there, and all alone,
The angels came...
Now all i have is memories of Honey
And i wake up nights,
And call her name...
Now my life's an empty stage, where Honey lived, and Honey played
And love grew up...
and a small cloud passes over head,
And cries down on the flower bed that,
Honey loved...

And see the tree? How big it's grown,
But, friend it hasn't been too long
It wasn't big...
And i laughed at her, she got mad...
The first day that she planted it,
Was just a twig...

And you're the perfect thing to say

2008-05-06T01:21:00.007+08:00

I guess its true. Its hard for her to smile and be friendly, sincerely. Sometimes I think she's built that way; built to be defensive. But then, you always knew her better than I did.

Today, I had the most awesome time. Okay. Granted, it wasn't awesome throughout the day, but it was awesome enough to be really rather awesome.(:

I returned my keys today. If I don't get a room next sem, then I suppose today officially marks the end of my hall life. I don't feel nostalgic today, but it will come.

Mad Jack's has the most amazing banana crumble, I swear. And although these few days seem as though there are 10 suns up there instead of a friendly Mr Golden Sun, the nights are cool enough for lovely, lovely walks in the park.(:

Ah, the simple pleasures of life are good, good. I'm contented.(:

2008-05-04T01:12:00.004+08:00

Jieli was telling me about Arnold's Fried Chicken, and now I have got a HUGE craving for KFC. Arnold's Fried Chicken does home deliveries too, and its outlets are very conveniently situated near my house. Urgh.

I WANT FRIED CHICKEN! I WANT FRIED CHICKEN! I WANT FRIED CHICKEN!

Weibaby please come back quick so I can pig out at KFC! (Jieli all these calories are your fault.)

Glorious Fried Chicken.

2008-05-03T20:37:00.003+08:00

I bought this adorable little book from Artbox yesterday with Rae. Scheduler, it says. I've just taken it out after all the excitement from today's events died down and now I can't wait to pencil in all my appointments and notes and such! Yay so exciting!(:(:

Anyway, this past week would have been fabuleux, if not for one teenyweenylittleproblem. Yes you guessed it right - je n'a pas d'argent! Money, money, money. Ah, c'est très ennuyant! But other than that, my week was grand. I've gone shopping, met up with some of the women, people from S43, hunted for birthday presents (or parts thereof), celebrated birthdays, partially cleared my stuff from hall, had dessert at Menotti and didn't manage to get us the discount because I was so damn sure that we just needed to pay the bill after 10 to get desserts off at half price (apparently not), been to the library, borrowed a book from a little secondhand bookshop which I've always wanted to borrow books from, chilled at starbucks, and travelled all the way down to boon lay to tutor my cousin. For free. So, next up on my list: borrow and read half the books in the library, have spa sessions thrice every week, own all the pretty pretty things in Made With Love and lastly, dinner at Garibaldi's.

Just kidding. But sheesh I really really have got to get myself a job real soon.

Wei's coming back from his trip tmr!(:

'Cause we got that open highway leading our way

2008-04-25T14:07:00.003+08:00

Geez. I really hope that having less than mediocre brains is enough. I really, really don't want to see those subjects again next sem.

Anyways! Its now time to spend quality time with friends, girlfriends, family and the boyfriend. Books, music, beauty sleep, chillin' out bumming around, girls nights out, driving around, excercise, shopping trips, good food, Bintan. Ohh yeaaahh! Indulgence and bliss. Bring it on.(:

2008-04-10T21:13:00.007+08:00

I have reached the point where I find Man's tendency to go hungry every 5-6 hours and the inability to think properly without at least 5 hours of sleep every night extremely, extremely, extremely irritating.

Wei's leaving for Vietnam early tomorrow morning. Its during times like this that I thank God for exams.

But I'm still gonna miss that big stinky anyway. The very same big stinky who decided to satisfy my craving and surprise me with the below mentioned portobello tempura fries. Couldn't stop smiling after I saw the Four Seasons plastic bag, haha.

Gah. I am gonna miss my stinky.):

2008-04-06T00:39:00.018+08:00

I'm suddenly craving for the Portobello Tempura Fries with Creamy Horseradish Sauce Wei and I had during our anniversary dinner at One-Ninety in Four Seasons Hotel. Oh yummy yum yum. Smackers.(:

I can't wait to have a whale of a time in Bintan with Qixin and Joan, read books from cover to cover in one go, have girl's nights out, bum around and visit book cafes with Wei, hang out with girlfriends, continue tennis lessons with Wei, and dream of my red Volkswagen Beetle Convertible that I promised I'll get myself in 8 year's time.

I can't wait for exams to be overrrrr, period.

Oh and speaking of tennis lessons with Wei, I hope his back heals fast and stops giving my poor sweetheart grief.):

I've come to the conclusion that my cynicism has grown exponentially. I realised that most books now don't draw me in, tug at my heart and cause it to ache like it used to.

I have a love affair with books. I keep those which are able to move me close to me, but now only a precious few grace my bedside table and I'm grateful for them, really and truly. Books like My Best Friend's Girl, The Time Traveler's Wife, Vanishing Acts and The Memory Keeper's Daughter keep me going.

Being jaded sure takes the joy out of reading, huh.

I am bemused at how its not stories of pledges of undying love that get me these few days but fantasy. Ravenheart was breathtaking and heartbreaking, so much so that I find myself sitting in bed in the wee hours of the morning, walking the prophecy and dying a thousand deaths, weeping, despairing and aching at mankind for both its selfishness and its beauty and tenacity.

2008-03-27T03:17:00.011+08:00

Just wanna say, I miss you real bad.

You could have been anyone at all
And net that catches me when I fall
I'm so glad it was you

Anyone at all
So glad it was you

FUDGE FUDGE FUDGE FUDGE FUDGE

2008-03-21T00:42:00.003+08:00

Fudge. Last tuesday was accounting mid terms, this tuesday was french and wednesday was business law. Monday's gonna be fm test, and then I still have another french test and IT quiz, in addition to a french presentation, one IT project and a comm funds presentation. And yes, exams ae in less than a month, and I have lessons even up to the week before the exams, so really, please try to understand, and god, give me a break. I'm really sorry if I'm all caught up and can't spare enough time for you people but the truth is, I need to do well to go to Switzerland. Fudge, my results sucked like crap last sem, and so I have to do well this time round, period.

So please understand. Please.

omg somebody save meeeeee.

2008-03-17T21:29:00.005+08:00

Happy 16th, stinko!(: Love you like bees to honey, kittens to milk, ants to sugar, numbers to accounting and stats and financial management, words to business law and OB and marketing, and me to a world with no accounting, business law, finanacial management, IT and comm funds, no projects and tests and exams and presentations and deadlines. YAY the thought of it just makes my day. *beams*

In other words, I love you muchmuch and manymany.

Oww I just bumped my elbow on the chair hard while reaching for the phone. Hurts.): Alrights, french oral test tmr. I'm pretty much brain-dead now and clumsy and clutzy, but I WILL FINISH FRENCH BEFORE BED TONIGHT! OhyesIwill. Bye.

Homebound.

2008-03-15T17:09:00.013+08:00

My dad is really surprising at times. So anyway, daddy's got me a credit card. Don't get me wrong, I'm not here to brag or anything. Ho no, I don't even think its brag-worthy. Its just that the thought of it makes me feel like I'm growing up so fast and too fast out of a sudden and I want it to stop, but nopes. Guess what, it won't.

In the past I had a curfew, and when I came home, my dad or mom or sometimes both, would be downstairs waiting. Sure, there were times when I pushed the limits,and they would be mad and irked because I made them wait. Feeling guilty, I would always ask them not to stay up waiting, and yet they would always be there everytime I came home. Those were the times. Now that I have the keys to the house, there are no lights on and no one waiting when I get home anymore. There are no more "tell me what time you will be home" calls. Now, I'm allowed to, and even expected to spend a day or two at home, before leaving for hall for the rest of the week.

The freedom, the independence makes me feel sad.

It really does.):

On a lighter note, Happy Birthday, Vincent! Heh I can't believe 3 years later your hair's gonna be razored down to ground zero like how Wei's was. (or any other army guy's, for that matter.) Love you, you idiotic, irritating, retarded, taller-than-me, fatter-than-me closet cam-whore.(:

Okay, je vais faire mon le travil d'école now. Au revoir!

2008-03-10T02:14:00.007+08:00

I am suddenly anxious for my presentation tmr. I'm bloody afraid that I would forget my train of thoughts and be left stumped and speechless when I see someone give me the finger, indicating a minute left. I have this urge to call you and hear your voice, all familiar and comforting. I want to hear you laugh your gentle laugh and tell me that I'm sillysillysilly, a silly little goose. Your silly little goose. I want you to soothe me and hold me and tell me that when tomorrow comes, everything will be alright.

Of spas, indulgence and treats.

2008-03-07T14:48:00.009+08:00

Wednesday with Qixin and Joan was absolutely, absolutely fab.(:

Oh and Daddy faxed the details over to the agent this morning. We're officially going to Bintan! 3 days of pure indulgence. It will just be the three of us, the sun, the sand and the sea. Yay so exciting! Can't wait, can't wait!!(:(:

That aside, work is an utter nightmare. Urghh.

Okay, happy thoughts, happy thoughts!

2008-03-01T02:48:00.014+08:00

Someone once asked me how it was like to view the world with small eyes. A few weeks ago I would have no answer, but now I do. I just see everything else.

Its strange, this upside down world.

Its strange, how little things I can retain.

Its strange, this heaviness.

Its like I want to rest but I'm so afraid to, because there's nowhere to stop and lie down and no place and no space to hold together the pieces of me.

Its like emotional lock down.

so this is how it feels like to be cold and ugly and fcked up and alone, but yet not alone.

Stars over Texas.

2008-02-25T22:21:00.007+08:00

It has lovely walls and lovely chairs and lovely tables and lovely, cheerful daisies in their lovely little vases. It has also lovely food served on lovely plates, all presented lovelily. It also has lovely service, the loveliest of all lovelies.

Cafe Oliv, it seems, officially has my heart.

Next time, I want a table with a pretty yellow daisy.

I miss vj. I miss walking through the park connector in the afternoon after school and seeing fellow victorians. I miss the fuzzy feeling I get when I walk home in the evening and meet fellow victorians cycling or blading back to school. I miss feeling the warm glow inside me when I stay back in vj late at night to study, and I see every other tutorial room with its lights and air conditioning on. I miss seeing random victorians, comfortable in pe shirts, fbts and slippers and snug in jackets, occupying classrooms to study or just chill out. I miss sitting in the treehouse with S43, playing cards and talking. I even miss having to share a classroom with random people, because its the exam period and everyone is studying in school and camping overnight and there are just no more other vacant rooms.

I've always loved walking hand in hand with you in the moonlight, the night breeze in our hair and the quiet path stretching out endlessly in front of us. Its almost as if there is nothing else in the world. Nothing and no one else in the world but us, us and the flowers and trees and pretty houses, and violins and the smell of the sea.

Today, I had a perfect date.(:

So you've used my broken bones

2008-02-24T15:34:00.013+08:00

and picked them clean.

I don't know when you became this bitter and this ugly. This isn't like you. This isn't like you, so please come back. You don't have to keep it all up and stick through it, you know. Sometimes people know and understand and they forgive you for not being the superwoman you so want to be.

**

On a lighter note, the Thailand pictures are up.(:

Us, at the airport.

Did I ever mention how fun the boat rides were?

Vincent and I.

Getting retarded on the boat.

Haha! And this is part of the reason why the trips were so fun.(:

Oh I must talk about this hat. Its really quite a cool hat. It foldable, and when it opens halfway it becomes a fan! Absolutely ingenious! Well, other than the fact that it was wayy to big, that is.

This was another day, when they left me at the hotel to nurse a migrain.): They went to visit the floating market happy and smiling, with the exception of my retarded brother.

Haha this is a priceless. By the way, he looks like this when he is confused most of the time. He just doesn't know it. Lol.

And this Wilson, looking all cute and happy.(:

We found these at the hotel, and it was so adorable we just had to take photos with it.

Mummy's little shop.

Hey no peeping! I'm having a private moment! Haha.

It has always been my brother's dream to take a ride in the DHL balloon, but my mom's afriad of heights, so this is compromise, I think..

Ohhh ya my ambition's to become a Tuk Tuk driver, driving at a safe 30km/hr.

Really, I'm a bimbo at heart,

And a pretty strong one too! Haha.

And so now you know that I didn't eat the monster and the tuktuk is really already halfway up and stuck to the building.

Alrighty now that I've spent almost half my day sitting around and doing little useless things, I should really start work and do something that is actually productive. Outta here. BYE!(:

Just so you know

2008-02-21T16:07:00.007+08:00

I am still wondering if what was meant as a means to survive is fundamentally flawed. What on earth happened to "equilibruim" and "stability"? And you know what they say, "everything in moderation".

Ah well, at least it keeps me whole and going. Andd, I'm am still overwhelmed by tests and projects. O Saturday, pleeeeease come quick! I think I need to be saved.

Again and again

2008-02-20T18:46:00.009+08:00

And again and again and again.

Boy do you appear in all the unexpected places. Perhaps it was the company I was with, perhaps its was all just too fleeting, but at least this time it didn't feel like you jumped out at me and pushed me off a cliff. Maybe next time I would be able to look into your eyes and we could have a proper conversation, haha. You looked well, though, and truly I am glad.

And you too, my sweet. Its amazing, because we both know where we would see each other, but everytime I meet you, I am always surprised. This time it was so vivid, though. Maybe we too, could hold a proper conversation the next time we meet.

Haha yes I know, I know. In my dreams, then, perhaps. In my dreams.

**

I want to contact you, ma chère étranger, and ask if you're doing okay but I shall not because I dare not, for fear that it will drive you off the deep end again. So I will bite my tongue so that I do not hurt you and just let you be. Know that I only wish the best for you.

Love, me.

p.s. btw, if you ever feel that you're up to it, you can always drop me a mail. Merci beaucoup.(:

Those shades of gray.

2008-02-18T20:44:00.007+08:00

It has always been absolutes. For me, it has always been either yea or nay, simple and straightforward. In betweens exist, of course, for who can live a life so finely divided?

Then there's this Thing. For it, there will always be this impulse, this need to nit and pick at those shades of gray, to probe and to poke and sometimes fingers bleed and bones ache and hearts break and there are little holes driven into the fabric of it all, and yet still pulling and pushing and stretching, till Gray seems to lose a little Shade or perhaps, gain a little Colour, and then everything goes back to absolutes again.

It occurred to me that what was, on all accounts, a means to survive is now a way of life.

Bears!

2008-02-16T21:16:00.006+08:00

Helloo world! Valentine's Day is over, and I'm glad to announce that I've managed to complete my present for Wei only two days late! Hoho.

Okay I was supposed to give it on Valentine's Day but I couldn't finish it on time, despite sewing late into the night. But anyway, I still have to thank Jun Feng for being so patient and bearing (haha!) with me, teaching me the fine art of bear-making into the wee hours of the morning. YiLing too, for well, being a fellow last-minuter and thus suffering the same consequences as me, and Andrew for lending his room for us to cross stitch and sew in, well into the night.

Lesson learnt: Start sewing projects early!

Alrighty pictures of my very first hand-made bear coming rightup!

The hand-made bear and the cuddly and extremely huggable Valentine Bear sitting together on my bed! By the way, I love my new bedsheets! Pretty pretty!(:

The bear up close. I still think the limbs are a wee bit too long and the bead a tad too small. Hmm.

All together now, with the lovely, pretty box holding my valentine's day presents from Wei.The flowers are absent from the picture, though! Ah wells.

Valentine's day. Valentine's day was spent indulging. We went looking for our favourite foods, and had hokkien mee at Food Republic in Suntec for lunch, and assorted pastries from SwissBake and Delifrance for dinner. The rest of the time was spent at two of our favourite places, Gloria Jean's and East Coast Park, holed up and reclaiming abit of us-time. It was altogether a quiet affair, cosy and dreamy.

I like.(:

Exhausted

2008-02-12T23:19:00.001+08:00

The Bangkok trip was utterly exhausting. Bangkok is as always - polluted, loud and impatient with its terrible, terrible traffic. How these people manage to avoid accidents amaze me.

Anyhows I'm back now, and the fact that I didn't manage to squeeze in any bit of studying time into my holidays doesn't seem to bode well. Tests are coming up, and everything is happening all at once and all at one go. Everything seems to be important and demanding attention, and I find myself caught up in some intricate maze with seemingly infinite forks and paths and openings, and there is everywhere and nowhere to go.

This is one of those times when you feel that the world is moving too fast, too fast for you to catch up. This is one of those times when you were just rambling along and minding your own business, when suddenly, accidentally, you find yourself left behind. This is one of those times when you really really want to just let it all go and shout STOP!

And everything stops and time freezes and then now, and then finally you are all alone, a ghost of what you have been and just only a sliver of the moon.

2008-02-06T13:21:00.000+08:00

Isn't it weird how little cuts hurt so much?

Isn't it funny how I've managed to keep it all in for the past few days, only to lose it all upon a stumble?

Ha, self-pity is powerful indeed.

But damn, my knee hurts. My elbow too. Alot alot.)):

The Way I Do.

2008-02-01T01:30:00.000+08:00

This song always brings me back to early last year, when things back then were still the same. I'll experience that rush of adrenaline I get when I wake up early in the morning to the smell of rain and the sometimes stiff and biting morning breeze, and that indescribable feeling when I prepare myself for work with your songs playing softly from my speakers. Wonder at the beauty of dawn, the sense of peace that beautiful mornings bring me, bliss because I was awake to witness the sky lighten up and the world wake, and not forgetting the wisps of sleep still clinging on. Altogether a heady mixture.

But now things are changing, and we can't go back to our comfort zone. Whatever happens, we'll work together and see where this takes us, oui?

Gentle mornings. Gentle gentle Dawn. I love.

Like what you said, this song is us, to the nines.

The Way I Do - Marcos Hernandez
Your kiss, your smile, your mind
You're sunlight in my eyes
I miss your breath on my neck
When we whisper in the night

Didn't wanna want you
Didn't wanna need you so bad
Didn't wanna wake up
And find that I was falling so fast
Didn't wanna need you
Didn't wanna need anyone
Now look what you've done

Now I can't go on without you
I'm naked, I can't fake it.
And I'm not that strong without you
Never thought I could love you the way I do
Way I do...

Your touch, your skin, can't believe the way you let me in
Don't rush tonight, I need you like the ocean needs the tide.

Didn't wanna want you
Didn't wanna need you so bad
Didn't wanna wake up
And find that I was falling so fast
Didn't wanna need you
Didn't wanna need anyone
Now look what you've done

Now I can't go on without you
I'm naked, I can't fake it.
And I'm not that strong without you
Never thought I could love you the way I do.

I always thought I would stand on my own
Climb a mountain top all alone
Relying, depending on no one
Now look what you've done

Now I can't go on without you
I'm naked, I can't fake it.
Now I'm not that strong without you
Never thought I could love you the way I do.

Never thought I could love you
Never thought I could need you
Never thought I could want you, baby
The way I do

Never thought I could love you
Never thought I could need you
Never thought I could want you
The way I do

I love you
I need you
I want you
the way I do

I love you
I need you
I want you
the way I do

` Let's keep it this way.